Today is father’s day, and there is an emptiness inside that is so deep, you could build a pool, and swim in the sorrow of it. I don’t know if it gets any easier or if you just get used to the sadness. I miss him very much. But this post is not about him.
My aunt passed away in May on Memorial Day, and I went back to my hometown to be with my family for an extended amount of time. It was tough, but it was good to be with family. Too see them again, and to be reunited. It’s a bit sad that there is so much distance between us, but when we are together, it’s quite nice. There are cousins, and their children, and other relatives that I don’t ever see, and even though they are my blood relatives, I am so disconnected from them. But being back with them again, well, I hope to reconnect. At least send yearly Christmas cards or something. We did grow up together, at least, a little bit.
Most of our parents, well, they didn’t really know us, or try to know us. They were not our friends or our confidants. They showed us tough love, and worked all the time to give us better opportunities than they had.
My aunt’s passing was the first funeral I’ve been to since my father’s death. And it’s the first matron death on my mother’s side. And it hurts. We make such a big fuss over the death of our fathers and mothers, but what about siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins? I don’t want to even think about it, but I know it will hurt. Sometimes death can be expected, but other times, it comes as a shock. My aunt’s health had been on the decline, and she seemed to go peacefully in her sleep. But she was still young, and it is strange that a woman so fierce in life should be taken so soon. I will miss her, and I will always remember her as a fighter, a risk taker, a go getter, loud, proud, stubborn, fearless, and beautiful.